|
Summer Highs for Adolescents
By Jenna Bensoussan
What is your teen doing this summer? Some of them might be doing a little more than you think, according to surveys conducted by the National Survey on Drug Use and Health.
Summer is literally knocking at our doorstep. The last school bell will soon chime and those wonderful bundles of teenage hormones and trouble will soon be swimming in free time. What do they do with all this free time? Survey says - more drugs!
June and July are the most popular months for drug use within the teen population. This also opens up windows for first-time users. There is a 38 percent increase of first-time users per day during the summer months.
Why does this happen? According to Jonathan, a high school student in Chicago, IL, it is "because we know we don't have to get up and go to school the next morning. We have nothing better to do."
Although there are guidelines for parents to prevent drug use, Jonathan says, "If someone wants to do drugs, it doesn't matter how much communication or rules there are - they will find a way to do it. In the summer we can do more things, see people we don't normally get to see, stay out and up later..."
One can only monitor their teen's activities so much, and then it becomes a problem. If you are too strict, too closed-handed or too nosy that might actually push your teen in the opposite direction. Instead of helping the situation, you might create a communication rift.
Here are some tips on how to keep the channels of communication open, without alienating your bundle of joy:
- When discussing daily activities, don't be a nosy parker. Casual conversation with no apparent accusatory path works well, decreasing their need for "defense" mode. i.e. "Where have you been all day!" vs. "Let me tell you what happened to me today...how was your day?"
- Know when to be their parent and when to be their friend. Sometimes they just need someone to listen without judging them.
- Try to look at things from their perspective...you were young once too.
- Tell them stories about things you did when you were their age - the stupider the better. Let them know you are human, you make mistakes, and you overcame them as they will overcome their own.
- Tell them how proud you are of them, show confidence in them, be positive. You'd be surprised how much pressure teens feel on a daily basis. Knowing they did something right every once and a while, rather than constant nagging about things they do wrong, does wonders for self-esteem.
- If you don't have a sense of humor, grow one. Laughter heals, binds and maintains a healthy balance between the serious and the more fun and enjoyable moments. The more you laugh, the more they laugh...the less they are sad or stressed, feeling the need for an alternate relief.
- Give them a little responsibility.
- Ask them for advice on some things.
- Remember to say THANK YOU. Teens like to be appreciated too.
- Teach by example.
There are a few other things that might help in addition to good communication and "rule setting" for your teen. Keep them active. There are summer camps, clubs, and sports that can do wonders for the average adolescent bored out of their mind during the summer, but the best medicine is a summer job. Of all the choices presented to Jonathan, the only thing that made him stop and say, "Yea, that might work," is the prospect of a summer job.
With a job in hand, adolescents can make money, learn responsibility, and they have to get up in the morning... Charge them with buying their own school wardrobe or other items they have been dying for. Motivate them to empower themselves to earn the money to acquire these things. Tell them you won't be buying anything for them. Instead of wasting their time, or their money, teens are more likely to be careful what they do and how they spend if they know mom and dad aren't going to cave and give them money or things they want.
Sometimes, no matter how involved you are in your child's life, no matter how caring, or how much you listen or empower, your child will still try drugs or alcohol. If they want it that bad, they will find a way.
The first step to prevention is trust. Trust in yourself to educate, communicate and motivate. Trust your teen to use these tools you've provided to make sound decisions. Without trust, you have nothing. |
