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Back to School: Tips to Keep Teens Drug-Free
By Jenna Bensoussan
 With drug possession, use, and sales on the rise in middle schools and high schools, what is a parent to do?
A recent study suggests high school drug problems have increased from 44 percent to 61 percent since 2002, and the percentage in middle schools has increased from 19 percent to 31 percent.
In an effort to keep kids clean upon their return to school, parents might want to consider the following:
Educate yourself about drug and alcohol abuse. You cannot talk to your kids if you don't know what you are talking about! The topic of drugs can no longer be a contained conversation about cocaine or heroin, nor Vicodin or Ritalin, now it is cough syrup and cold medicines too. If you think over-the-counter medicines or prescription drugs are less dangerous than hard drugs like meth—think again. Learn more about the effects of drugs and alcohol on the body at the Anti-Drug Website for parents.
Talk to your kids about drugs and alcohol. Fewer parents are discussing this growing epidemic with their youngsters. If you think your eight-year-old is too young to start doing drugs—you're wrong. Children as young as five years-old have been reported to use cough and cold medicines to achieve a "high." Start discussions as early as kindergarten.
Frequent anti-drug discussions. It is not enough to talk to your children just once about drug and alcohol abuse. Kids tend to forget things. This is something that should be an ongoing topic of discussion at least once a week.
Keep it interesting. Talk about news stories, information you found out about harmful effects a certain drug may have, an experience someone you know had...an experience YOU had. Don't underestimate the value of teaching them from your mistakes. It's OK to admit to your children that you are not perfect. They will appreciate you more, and in turn, be willing to listen.
What can you do aside from talking about it?
Idle hands are the Devil's workshop. Kids left alone after school are more likely to pick up drugs and alcohol as extracurricular activities if they don't already have one. There are so many things they can do between 2 p.m. and 6 p.m. Depending on their age, get your young one involved in sports, after school clubs, a part-time job, or youth groups. Just hanging out with friends could potentially get kids into worlds of trouble.
Any friend of ______ is a friend of mine. Make sure you get to know your kids' friends. The more you know, the more YOU KNOW. Try to be earnest and interested—not nosey. Invite the friend(s) and their parents for dinner. Food is always a win win. There is nothing like a casual dinner to put everyone at ease.
Know thy children. Yes, familiarize yourself with your children's schedule and activities, but most importantly, know your child. Sometimes kids, especially teens, need a friend more than a domineering adult-like parent.
It is a lot easier to open up to someone that does not pretend to know more about everything than you. You don't always have to wear the stern face or the hands-on-hips slump. Balance is key. Instead of just lecturing or telling your children what to do, take a minute or two and listen.
Time is precious. Don't spend it arguing and issuing to-do lists all the time. Yes, your kid's a slob. His room hasn't been cleaned in days, his homework could stand to be neater, and lets not forget his horrible bathroom habits... All things considered, if at the end of the day you've done nothing but nag and holler, chances are your child will never tune you in, even when you aren't being a parental ogre in their mind.
Make a point of eating dinner with your children every night if possible. Use this time to talk casually about the day's events, upcoming plans for the weekend—the latest episode of High School Musical... Do NOT bring up serious topics or issues at the dinner table! ...That is just bad manners...
Location, location, location. It is always OK to ask where your child is going, or where they are—as long as you aren't being rude about it. Never ask them in a tone that indicates you don't trust them, you are spying on them, or you think they are "up to something." If you are one that has an open channel of communication and interest in your child's life, this will be second nature to them already. If you don't bark they won't bite.
Realistic rules and rewards. It is important to have a standard set of rules, as well as consequences for the breaking of those rules. The key here is consistency. If you have a clear rule about homework, and a clear consequence associated with it if it is not done—make sure you follow through with the punishment. Don't chicken out.
Make sure the punishment fits the crime. For example, you wouldn't take away someone's Play Station for two months if they forgot to take out the trash!
Monkey see monkey do. What-ever... Talk is cheap—if you can't do it, don't expect them to either. Many children become cynics by the time they are nine years-old due to the parental units' broken promises, ulterior motives and inconsistent mannerisms.
if you say you are going to do something—follow through. Don't lie to your children. Don't exaggerate something to make it sound better or worse. Don't keep secrets. If you want your children to respect you, you must first respect your children. Many times youngsters mimic the examples set for them by their parents. Be the right example, not the pot that calls the kettle black.
Do not assimilate. Your child is not a clone. They are not a "mini-you." Each boy or girl is an individual. Do not force them to be more than they can be, or make them feel bad because they aren't living up to your unrealistic expectations. Don't force them to be someone they don't want to be—let them be themselves.
Ultimately, their life is not your life, and you have no right to force your opinions, taste or any over-achiever day dreams on your children. You must give them the space they need to pursue their own dreams and interests (as long as they are legal, of course).
Stress and depression are the leading causes for adolescent drug use. Don't add to it. Be helpful and supportive, not a whip cracker. Get to know who your children are, appreciate their unique identity and love them for it.
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