You Are Not Dear Abby!

One of the first things budding addiction counselors need to learn is that that they should be careful to avoid giving advice like a Dear Abby column to friends and family.

That's one of a long checklist of guiding principles I try to get across in the first few months as I prepare to teach a new group of addiction counseling students. These are critical building blocks that will assist the new addiction counselors' professional development.

Some of these may be obvious but we talk about them anyway, to be sure that there are clear professional standards and boundaries to which all addiction counselors adhere. These include such ethical considerations as avoiding dual relationships (e.g., asking a client out on a date three months after they were seen as a client).

Some expectations for professional counselors may not always be clearly defined or discussed. We assume young professionals have some expectations and that puts them at too much risk. So to avoid risks – whether major or minor – I make an effort to point out as many different constructs as I feel are applicable for a new addiction professional's development. The purpose here is to start a discussion around the risk of giving advice to friends and family on addictions-related topics.

Most new addiction counselors who are healthy, motivated, and committed to a helping profession come with a tremendous amount of energy, a sense of responsibility, and compassion to help people with addiction disorders. A hard lesson to learn is that being naïve is not a legal defense in this profession. There is an expectation that professionals will have a clear understanding of their boundaries. Being naïve may not just expose a young professional to major ethical and legal issues; it may also lead to straining personal relationships, unwarranted blame, and criticism, as well as increased personal stress. It is important to keep in mind that good intentions can lead to serious consequences (e.g., giving advice that exposes a client to harm).

Too often, once someone hears a family member or friend is taking a course in addiction counseling they assume they have an expert resource who can give them advice when then they need it. This expectation often comes from the dynamics of the relationship that, of course, a family member or friend would help out and give advice if needed. Thus when there is a need there is no hesitation to ask.

My message to students is, “You are not in the advice giving business and it is not a best practice to counsel a family member or friend.” So each year I offer my students the following best practices for giving advice.

Best practices for giving advice

•  When family members come to you with addiction-related issues, the best advice you can give them is a referral number.

•  There is no such thing as justifying your willingness to give advice because it is only a little advice. Giving instructions or suggestions is advice.

•  Avoid the temptation to give professional advice to family or friends on specific actions, or taking a counseling role when you see a need. When you have a concern out of love, it is fine to say what you think and what the person could do. However, this should be considered advice from a concerned friend only, not professional advice. For example, saying to a loved one: “You need help with your addiction; please get help” vs. “I am an addiction counselor and I know you meet all the requirements for the diagnosis of alcohol dependency and you need to go to detox, then cognitive counseling and AA.” The latter is considered more professional advice. Be clear of your role.

•  Do not pass yourself off as an expert when you are in training. Just because you are in the process of becoming an addiction professional does not mean you are qualified to give professional advice, whether it is to a friend, family member, or a client you are seeing under supervision. Know your competency levels.

•  Addiction counselors should provide advice in the counseling relationship only after they get the client's permission to offer a suggestion.

•  Even with a client in counseling, never provide advice in areas such as finances in which you have no formal training or certification.

William A. Howatt, PhD, EdD, ICADC, serves on the faculty of Nova Scotia Community College and is co-editor of the Wiley Book series on Treating Addictions.